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Ngedate di Internet

2010-08-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

Romance! I want some.

Upon hearing this, the entire world may well barricade its doors, while I gird my loins. But after this long, dark, pointlessly bitter winter, my sap is rising at an exponential rate. Usually, I only act when I see something completely and utterly spectacular, the ultimate best thing ever, a sole Prada piece in a sea of Primark. But I'm changing my methods, inspired by an observable new London phenomenon: the Guardian Soulmates date.

The Soulmates date sees the cosmopolitan coming-together of two people of equal attractiveness, who have jobs and iPhones. It can also signify the coming-together of intense desire and profound delusion. This is what I eavesdropped on at a trendsters' café in Covent Garden, a few weeks ago.
Man: Shall we have dessert?
Woman: Mm. I'm not sure.
Man: I like dessert.
Woman [nodding politely]: Ah.
Man: Do you like dessert?
Woman: ?

Both these people were leaning towards each other with nauseatingly good intentions, looking at each other with bleak hopefulness. For a dramatist, the dialogue was priceless. For the participants, painful. I hope the two of them are now pursuing separate hobbies elsewhere, dessert or no dessert.

Still, I admire them for making the effort. The surface argument against internet dating is that it's, at worst, creepy and dangerous, and at best, naff.

Look, everything in life is potentially dangerous or naff.

Next--->>>

Ngedate di Internet

2010-08-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

What people really resist is the realisation that relationships can be engineered quite workably along cultural, education, class, political and other lines. We don't like to see Darwinism operating with quite such obviousness and calculation, preferring to think that love is a magical chance.

Apparently, true love waits. This is unlikely. True love is not a novice nun in perpetual anticipation of union with Christ. What if "true love" is a pathetic, filthy, perfidious gigolo who will open its pants for anyone who shows it a little bit of attention? That is to say, it's a deceitful and damaging fantasy. Seeking true friendship, true accord, true truthfulness and true fun is healthier than waiting for a fated thunderbolt – which turns out to be a trick of the light.

Surely, it's better to log on to eHarmony, Match and Find-a-Freak.com. OK, I made the last one up, but they all seem like plausible ways to meet someone ideal, I'm sure. The key is not to be too hopeful (retired male, 60s, seeks slim F, 28-35, for fun and friendship) or craven (bubbly female seeks anyone, looks unimportant, can travel). It's not like writing a note to Santa.

I would go by a process of elimination, starting with some all-purpose universal non-negotiable deal-breakers. Lying, cheating, game-playing and general psycho behaviour will earn an instant walkout and my lifelong disgust. But solvency isn't a must, as long as you don't try to borrow money off me. Ditto drug use and drunkenness. If you want to sleep in the gutter after having soiled yourself, go ahead. Just don't expect me to hose you down in the morning.

Laugh at my jokes. Take a shower every now and again. That's all, really – and it's amazing that, given such wide parameters, I am not inundated with offers.

Still, in the spirit of Soulmates, here goes:

Hard-faced hack seeks similar for wild repartee and dorky banter. Must share a love of fine stationery, fountain pens, painfully long walks and incomprehensible science fiction series with muscly heroines.

That should do the trick. Summer of love, here I come.

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Bokep dan bokep Melayu

2010-07-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

PETALING JAYA: Many people are shy to talk about it, but a good life is an important part of an individual's overall health.

"can be a wonderful cementer or a terrible wedge for a relationship," said consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar.

She acknowledged that keeping the spark alive in a marriage or in a long-term relationship was easier said than done.

"However, couples who take time to cultivate and maintain healthy and satisfying relations tend to be more connected with each other and do not suffer from depression, heart problems and other health maladies," she said.

Scientific evidence shows that good not only adds enjoyment to life but improves health and may even contribute to longevity.

"The daily routines of life challenge couples to keep alive that flame that initially brought them together," said Dr Nor Ashikin.

"Intimacy should be one of the greatest pleasure of being human. No one wants to be with a partner who is merely going through the motions. Enjoy it or don't do it."

Dating with Children

2010-07-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Don't bring dates home until you feel the relationship is worthwhile. If you think back to when you were first dating in your teens and twenties, you probably didn't bring every boy home to meet your parents, and in this case, you don't want every man to meet your kids.

Show your children a picture of the man you are dating before they meet him. This way they can get to know what he looks like first, which will take away one aspect of the mystery and might increase their comfort level when they meet him.

Plan for the first visit to be fairly brief - an afternoon or an evening, as opposed to a weekend together.

Don't bring your gentleman into your usual routine. If you always go out for pizza on Sunday nights, don't choose that as the time to bring your date along. Children take comfort in the rituals of daily life and are more likely to look at your date as an intruder if you insert him into this regular family activity. Instead, do something together on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Ask your man not to bring his children along the first time he meets your kids. This way your kids can get to know the man by himself and judge how they feel about him. He should talk about his kids, however, and show their pictures to your kids.

Talk to your kids about how you feel. "I really like this man, Michael, and I want you to meet him. He is a good friend to me. I also want you to know that even though Michael is a wonderful person, he will never be who your Dad was. Your Dad was a very special person and Michael is a different special person."

Ask your date not to make his first encounter with your children a big deal - no gifts, no grand gestures that seem as if he is trying to "buy" their love. Kids see through this immediately and it makes them nervous.

Avoid having your man meet your kids on an important holiday like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Holidays are emotionally loaded times and therefore, don't present the right opportunity for introducing a new person.

Try not to scold your child if he/she acts out at the first get together. Instead, have a conversation about it later. Try to get your child to talk about his/her feelings. "I think I understand why meeting Tim made you feel so upset but I'm not really sure I know how you feel. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Don't rushing things. If the first meeting goes well, set another one for a few weeks later. If it doesn't go well, do the same. Remember, relationships take time to develop.

Melayu Word Cup Bugil

2010-07-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

Flirt website Flirtomatic have put together some ace tips to show how the World Cup can be the best time to pull a guy.

And here are the top ten tips to accomplish this:

1) Confidence is key

It's no secret that confidence attracts so put your time to good use this World Cup by focussing on feeling confident on the inside. A sassy air of confidence will impress him way more than reeling off a bunch of footie phrases you've learnt.

2) Carpe Diem

It's all about seizing the day during this World Cup - don't wait until half-time to introduce yourself to the guy of your dreams. But, choose your moment carefully--a penalty shoot out is not the opportune time for introduction.

3) Prize props

Adorn yourself in your national colours this summer - anything from a full on white and red outfit to an Italian shirt or an Australian badge - and you'll be sure to kick off a conversation or two.

4) Practice makes perfect

If you're shy, why not start honing your flirting skills now so that you're prepared come kick-off - digital flirting is all the rage these days and provides a great space for you to find out what works - and what doesn't.

5) Cough up

Sure, we all like to be bought drinks by hot guys but why not reverse the roles this summer and score yourself a few brownie points with the object of your desires by biting the bullet and buying the boy a beer!

6) Eye candy

Think about it girls - eye contact is the most powerful seduction tool going. It takes the average guy three looks before he even begins to understand your interest so keep your eyes on the prize.

7) 32 is the magic number

There are a massive 32 countries participating in this year's World Cup - and what's even better is that men love women who are into meeting new people! Spanish, Italian, English, American, Australian, Brazilian … take your pick but whatever you do, keep an open mind.

8) Smile

Flash a smile to the guy who's caught your eye and he'll be putty in your hands - they're so easy to give and a powerful message to receive.

9) Take the 'reject' out of rejection

So he doesn't connect to any of your passes? So what? There'll be a million others out there who will … so get yourself down to another game and go flirt with them!

10) Flirting is fun!

Don't look at flirting as something you are forced to do - the only losers are those who don't try. If you don't shoot, you'll never score.

Melayu Bogil

2010-07-01T05:36:00.000-07:00

Age revealed upon meeting

On the website, he said he was 16, but he revealed his real age to anyone he met personally or chatted with on the telephone.

A month or two after the boy posted the messages, Thomas Song Choon Chen, 37, responded and agreed to pay him $50 in exchange for favours.

The boy told Chen his address and they met at the boy's home at 9am the same day.

When Chen arrived at the flat, the boy, who was in school uniform, told him he was actually 15 years old.

After leading Chen to his bedroom, the boy undressed himself.

Chen then performed acts with the boy and paid the boy later and left.

Chen kept in touch with the boy for some time, but the relationship later ended.

Assistant nurse Muhammad Hafashah Mohd Aslam, now 21, got to know the boy online through the same website around February 2007.

The boy offered services and Muhammad Hafashah agreed.

After meeting at the void deck of Muhammad Hafashah's HDB flat in Jurong West, they went to a community centre nearby. They then went to a toilet for the handicapped there.

After the acts, they both cleaned up and went to an ATM nearby, where Muhammad Hafashah withdrew $100 to pay the boy.

In January 2007, Victor Ng Yong You, 25, got to know the boy via the website.

The boy offered services to Ng in exchange for a lift to Wisma Atria.

Ng agreed and he went to pick up the boy.

Before heading to Wisma Atria, Ng drove him to an underground carpark in Bukit Merah to engage in acts.

The two later went to Wisma Atria and Ng then dropped the boy at the boy's girlfriend's home.

Neither Muhammad Hafashah nor Ng kept in touch with the boy after the acts.

Sperm Quality

2010-04-13T09:14:00.001-07:00

LONDON – For men with fertility

problems, some doctors are prescribing a very conventional way to have a baby: more.

In a study of 118 Australian men with damaged sperm, do

ctors found that having every day for a week significantly reduced the amount of DNA damage in their patients' sperm. Previous studies have linked better sperm quality to higher pregnancy rates.

The research was announced Tuesday at a meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Amsterdam.

Dr. David Greening of Sydney IVF, a private fertility clinic in Austr

alia, and colleagues looked at 118 men who had damaged sperm. Greening and colleagues told the men to have every day for a week. After seven days, the doctors found that in 81 percent of the men, there was a 12 percent decrease in the amount of damaged sperm.

Many fertility experts suggest men abstain from before their partners have in-vitro fertilization, to try to elevate their sperm counts.

Sperm quality can also be improved if men don't smoke, drink moderately, exercise, or get more antioxidants.

Since concluding the study, Greening says he now instru

cts all couples seeking fertility advice to start by having more. "Some of the older men look a little concerned," he said. "But the younger ones seem quite happy about it."

Experts think helps reduce the DNA damage in sperm by getting it out of the body quickly; if sperm is in the body for too long, it has a higher chance of getting damaged.

Some experts said that while Greening's research is promising, it doesn't prove that daily for men with fertility problems will actually produce more babies.

Greening said he and his colleagues are still analyzing the study data to determine how many women got pregnant.

"Looking at sperm DNA is just one part of the puzzle," said Bill Ledger, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Sheffield, who was not connected to the research. "Maybe this will improve pregnancy rates, but we still need to do more studies."

Ledger said instructing couples with infertility problems to have more could stress their relationship. "This may add even more anxiety and do more harm than good," he said. He said couples shouldn't feel pressured to adjust their lives just for the sake of having a baby.

Greening said the study's findings were ultimately very intuitive. "If you want to have a baby, our advice is to do it often."

Role Play Tip

2008-04-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

As adults we don’t get to play nearly enough, and fantasy role play is a perfect opportunity to dress up and have fun. Once you’ve decided on who you want to be, where and what you’ll be doing, think about ways to add to your character and role through clothing and props.

Take a trip to a thrift store, keep your eye out for post-Halloween sales, or if you’re a pack rat, raid your basement or attic for clothes you haven’t worn in years.

Props and costumes for role play can include:

Clothing

From your underwear to your overcoat (and the all important footwear), dress appropriate to your role. If you’re a banker about to foreclose on a poor man’s house, a suit (or tuxedo) is ideal. If you don’t have those handy, you can dress your partner way down in torn and tattered clothes to contrast whatever nice clothes you have to wear.

Wearable accessories
Wearable props can both add to the realism of a character but they can also be used as tools of seduction. A pair of glasses, leather gloves, a tie or stockings are obvious examples. Others include: jewelry, purses, broaches, hats, glasses, ties, belts, gloves.

Accessories for the role
Make sure you have the tools of your trade. Business people need briefcases, teachers need rulers, cops need handcuffs, the list goes on.

Smell the part
If you’re a sophisticated opera devotee, perfume or cologne is in order. If you’re a chef, try some vanilla behind the ears (or elsewhere), if you’re a sanitation worker, get creative in smelling bad without smelling too bad.

With any character, you can go authentic, or you can caricature the role you’re playing. The key is to have fun, and be thorough.